


Douse

by Irelando



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Missing Scene, because Cassian deserves an apology goddamnit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 19:00:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9285644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irelando/pseuds/Irelando
Summary: The journey back from Eadu is… tense.





	

The journey back from Eadu is… tense.

Jyn’s mind whirls in circles, replaying over and over, trying to find some way she could have saved him. Could’ve gone a little faster. Killed Krennic herself.

Realized what Cassian was up to sooner.

That’s the worst part. Losing her father a second time is an old wound brought back to the surface; it hurts – _damn does it hurt_ – but she knows it, knows how to ride it. Cassian is a new betrayal, shattering the tentative trust that had grown between them on Jedha. It’s fresh, sharp, digging deep into her skin.

_You’re not the only one who’s lost everything,_ he hisses in her memory, his eyes hard and glinting.

She starts to pace, back and forth, back and forth across the cargo bay. Baze, dozing on the closed ramp of the door, ignores her. Chirrut leans on his staff, listening with head tilted.

Bodhi, sitting on the seat nearest the ladder with his hands clasped and his head bowed, only reacts on her sixth or seventh pass. He lifts his head, watches her make a couple more circuits.

_Some of us just decided to do something about it_.

She whirls on Bodhi. “Did you know? What he was going to do?” she demands.

He doesn’t flinch, his usual nervous energy dulled by what looks like profound exhaustion. She notices his eyes are red-rimmed, a little bloodshot, the telltale tracks of tears on his cheeks. She wishes she hadn’t. It’s easier to be angry when she’s the only one grieving.

“Not at first,” he says eventually.

“But before it was too late?” she presses.

His head dips in a nod.

“And you didn’t try to stop him?” she half-shouts. The pain wells up inside her, black and toxic. “Coward,” she spits.

He looks at her. “Yeah. I am,” he says. “But that’s not why.”

“Why, then?”

Bodhi glances up the ladder. “Because he’s a good man,” he says, “And he’s brave. Much braver than me. I figured he would make the right call.” His eyes harden, a flash of anger going through them. “Sounds like he did.”

It cuts right through her anger, deflating her. Bodhi doesn’t seem to notice, dropping his head back into his hands.

Without the anger to hold her up, Jyn wavers. The grief rises to take its place, huge and terrible and inescapable. _He’s gone. Again._ She staggers to the corner seat, collapses into it.

She learned to cry silently in a bunker when she was six. If any of the others notice her doing so now, they’re kind enough not to say so.

\--

They set down on Yavin, and Cassian comes brusquely down the ladder. “Head to the War Room,” he says, “There’s a summit.” He doesn’t look at Jyn.

Chirrut and Baze are the first out. Bodhi follows, his shoulders slumped. Cassian pauses long enough to check his jacket, pull something out of the pocket, as Kaytoo climbs down into the cargo bay. Cassian turns to go.

“Wait,” Jyn blurts.

He stops.

“I think you’ve said quite enough already,” Kaytoo says, looming in a vaguely threatening manner.

“It’s okay,” Cassian says without turning. “Go ahead, Kaytoo. I’ll catch up.”

The droid looks between them for a moment. If he had laser eyes, Jyn’s pretty sure she’d be fried. But then, sullenly, Kaytoo clanks away.

Cassian turns to her. His face is completely flat, eyes guarded. “Go ahead,” he says. “Get it out. Tell me I’m a monster.”

Jyn rocks back. “I’m sorry,” she tries. It comes out a little uncertain, but even so, he softens, just a bit. Or at least she imagines he does.

“I’m sorry,” she says again, with more conviction. “I was angry. I still am. But what I said was out of line, and cruel, and unfair.”

Cassian inclines his head, at least in acknowledgement, if not in acceptance. She can’t really blame him.

“And,” she says after a moment, “Thank you. For coming to get me. And for not taking the shot.”

He looks at her for so long she’s a little worried he doesn’t believe her. Then, he nods again, and his expression is definitely softer. “You’re welcome.”


End file.
